Hi Twenty Seventeen

Few hours left to welcome 2017 and as years before, I am just enjoying myself sitting and listening to music from a new TV inside of my own room. Yeaaayyyyy!!!! I decide to listen a full concert of James Morrison for now. While Mas Asong is away to have a party at his friend’s house. 

2016 is not really what I expected. I can say I am kind of proud of my life better in 2015. 2016 kind of goes quiet flat. I just go to work on weekdays and hang out on weekend with friends. I don’t have big achievement, neither time to have a big solo journey. Though somehow, I am such really blessed having many lovely office friends who always make me more crazy. I previously thought it was kind of hard finding crazy mates after college but this is it, I can still find them. 

Something that I have planned for the next one or two years is I am not wanting to be in a relationship. Idk, I am just scared of a man or maybe I am just not confident enough of myself. Year hasn’t even changed yet but that plan seems to be by perforce, considered again.

Last week, Mas Asong, dad, and I went to look for a house since Mas Asong will get married next year. After a tiring journey taking a look to more than five houses, we had lunch at a mall nearby while discussing which house we preferred for Mas Asong. Suddenly, my dad said “Hopefully, you can also have one later on ya, Dek”. Then I replied “Yeah, ofc I would have one too, Pak but it depends on my husband later where he would stay”. Dan ternyata, my dad added “Hopefully you could already bring him to your brother’s wedding next year”. Great, my plan is ruined. 

God, marriage is still a really really far away from my plan. Even I am not in the mood to find any interesting man. Something I never forget to say in my prayer is that God, please make this heart settled for not having interest to any kind of man for right now. When I start to kind of like a man, please just stop it as soon as possible. Just make this heart neutral and uncommitted to anybody. 

Ah, I can’t wait to enjoy my consecutive leave next week. I have my flight schedule at 07.55 PM. I have to go all the way from Sudirman. Do you think I can make it less than 3hours? 

Anyway, I am just gonna go to another big island within this country but honestly, I barely arrange my trip, not even make the itinerary yet. Furthermore, I only have my one way ticket. I don’t know which city will be my last stop to end the journey. So, yeah I am gonna buy the ticket back to Jakarta later.

To sum up this 2016 which is closely going to an end, maybe in some ways you have a perfect plan inside of your mind but again, we are not living with only ourselves. There is always a time when you are forced to beat your ego and see if somebody else’s want will work for your life. Maybe my first experience in something doesn’t work well but I am learning much things from that. I am not chasing any deadline, I swear. Whatever it is, I choose what makes my heart settled and what best for my future life. 

Lastly, Happy New Year everybody. Be good always, my dear 2017!

Different Sides

It’s good to know that we are closely going to face another year. 2016 only has five days left while awaiting for the new year to come, I still gotta struggle finishing work at 8 pm or more everyday. Last week, my friends and I skipped two Japanese classes because we still had much things to do. You could guess what time we would go home when 9.30 pm was a time when we’ve skipped class . Fyi, it took 2 hours for one class.

This week, I cried already once in the morning when a fucking dumb driver spitted upon me. HE SPITTED UPON ME AND HIS SPITTLE SPURTED INTO MY SKIN. Damn him!!!. I cursed him angrily for sure at the beginning but once he did something such what a hick do, I started to cry. I mean, I really don’t like people hitting me physically. If he wanted to have an argument with me, I would be pleasure to compete against his words but once he acted like a hick, I really didn’t like that, kind of filth and desecrated my body. Just go to hell, boy. Whatever! Let’s forget it. Hope God still wants to bless his life.

Another thing happened within this week. When last Saturday, I failed to see my doctor since he was celebrating Christmas so, he served to see his patients one day before which means on Friday night (while I went back from office at 8.30 PM on Friday night). I know somebody from the clinic called me during work hours on Friday. She called twice. I saw those incoming calls in front me but For God’s sake I couldn’t pick the call because I was on the other line dealing with my customer. That bustle :(

Finally, I decided to go to a salon around Pengadegan to have my hair cut and masked. It was already 05.30 PM I know, then the salon only agreed to receive hair wash and hair blow only because she said she already did 77 customers that day. Make sense sih it was Christmas night.

On the way back home, I met an old woman who said she was 114 years old. I didn’t know whether I should believe her or not. Come on, 114 makes a little possibility to be that strong. Yeah, though I couldn’t judge that she was lying too. Not lying probably, she just couldn’t remember her age properly. She said she was being a laundress in Jakarta while she is living in Bogor. Oh God, please bless her life here and afterlife. She has struggled enough to take care of her children after her husband passed away. She has two children and she raised them until they graduated their bachelor and they’ve got married now. She’s been so infirm while her back’s crooked already. I asked her why she didn’t take any job order near her area and she said people don’t have a heart to keep her working. While situation forces her to still earn for her own life. When I was about to pay her minivan fare, a woman has got ahead of me. Finally I could only took her to station and top up her card quiet enough.

It’s just some nano-nano about this week. When one thing makes you angry and just wants to curse somebody to go to hell but another thing happens to knock your heart down.